30 Something

Me and my new beau had a fight. Grrr..... I can't find a decent man to save my life. Basically, he came to my house and he was already a little tipsy (his mom told me later that he had been drinking since 2) around 5. We decided to play around a little before going to the store. When we got to the store I felt really good. We were all over each other like new couples. However, my attitude abruptly changed when he went to the alcohol aisle. He told me before that he had a problem with alcohol, so in my mind when you have a debilitating problem you work to fix it. Well, that's not how his mind works. I guess he feels that thinking about getting help will make him better. So as we proceeded to the checkout lane he paid for he sheepishly paid for his poison. I guess he could sense my disapproval. But, I wasn't going to let this put a damper on a good night. We had plans to stop by his mom's house; this would be the my first time meeting her. We made a few other stops before our final destination for the evening. But during two of the stops I noticed before getting back into the the truck he would take a big swig of his drink. I was getting more and more annoyed by this. He didn't even have the balls to drink in front of me. By the time we got to his mom's he was toasted, blitz, wasted, and any other adjective that can be used to describe him. I was so embarrassed. He's the type of drunk that cries a lot and he doesn't finish his sentences. The worse part was that he was carrying his drink in his inside coat like he was hiding it from everyone and spilling it all over his shirt. As we were leaving a "blast from the past" called me and he immediately came up to me rather aggressively asking me who I was talking to. I was furious, but because I was around stangers I didn't say too much. His mom kept asking me how I put up with him. Little did she know that I had already made it up in my mind that I couldn't. I was planning my break up speech in my head, "Shasta said that she was the only woman that was going to put up with your shit and right now I believe that she's right because I can't put up with it." I was surely going to throw it that other woman in his face. Plus, I figured that he wouldn't remember anything from the previous evening anyway. As the night came to a close I had to nearly wrestle him to get my keys back. Luckily he friend was going past my place and he helped me. He proceeded to call me the rest of the night asking me if he could come over so that we could talk. My answer was simply, "no." We did talk the next day and the nice little speech I had planned went out the window. He was even drunk when we talked. I told him that he needed to get help and that I couldn't deal with that type of stuff in my life. Not right now. I told him about my stepfather being an alcoholic and how it destroyed out lives and how I could not, would not, allow it to continue by getting deeply involved with him. I was sad because I really like him alot. At one point I was even thinking about going to al-anon to see how I could help him, but I really can't. I don't have the time or the energy, plus I believe that anyone who wants help will start to seek it for him/herself and so far I haven't seen him seek too much help.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 4:29 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.