30 Something

It's missing. I went to work on Wednesday, half asleep anxious about the assembly of over 400 students and 30 teachers. I grabbed my phone off the charger and threw it in my purse. I got to work and left my purse and bag next to my desk. At the end of the day while trying to call a friend back I realized that my phone was missing. What? Where is my phone? I searched my purse and my bag. I called it and the voice mail picked up. I callled and called all night and the voice mail would pick up. So I was a little concerned. If someone stole it I'm sure they would have used it. I called T-mobile today and they said it had not been used since Tuesday. Odd, so I told her not to suspend the account because maybe I dropped it in my car somewhere. I have yet to check my car, but it is frustrating to lose my phone. I glad that I can still check my voice mail though.

I registered for seminary school on yesterday. It was exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Even though it's not terribly expensive, I'm trying to figure out how I"m gonna manage. Tuition is about 10 grand for the year which is a little less than 1 grand per month. I think I"m gonna be a broke college student for a while. I had terrible anxiety because when I talked to an admissions counselor she stated that I could do the graduate program. I was already anxious because I didn't have the program information to be able to mull over for a while, but then she told me that and it knocked me off balance. So now I'm debating. I didn't want to register full time if I didn't know which program I was gonna be doing. So I only registered for three course so far. I think it will be a good idea to do the graduate program, but I'm not sure. The degree is not necessary what I'm after.

I'm also looking at Ph.d program. I think I want to do a doctorate of public administrations. I found out that I like to research social problems and since I work and volunteer in the "helping profession" I think public administration would be good for me. I'm gonna look at starting that program next fall. There are a few prerequisites that I must take.

School is making me sick. Almost every day this week, I've been fighting to get out of bed. What is wrong with me. Next summer I'm taking a real summer vacation like all the other teachers--I'm not working at all.

My Academy sucks. I have over 35 referrals on my desk. Ugh, I've had to suspend at least 10 students. This was the first week of school. What is wrong with this picture. I just want to scream. And we have a three day weekend which I am thanking Jesus for, but I'm going to be working most of the weekend. becuase I couldn't get any work done because I was too busy processing students with behavioral problems. I wish we could go back to paddling.

On the first day of school three students were suspended for cussing out the police officer on campus. They were my students.

The same day, one of my students was suspended for being high at school. When I first saw this student his eyes were hooded and almost closed. Immediately I thought he was high so I went to ask what was wrong with him. "I'm just woke up" I was gonna ask him if he was doing drugs but for some reason I was distracted and didn't ask him and I left him along. The next day I get a referral on my desk stating that he was under the influence of drugs and he was suspended for 10 days. Why didn't I act on what I was thinking? Ugh.

Today, students got into a fight in the gym. I heard the call over the radio and the hall monitor went to check on it, so there was no need for me to go. Then I heard the call for the nurse ASAP. That didn't sound good at all. Then there was the call for me to go to my office immediately. Oh, boy, here we go. It was one of my students. He was trying to get by and another student was talking "stuff" and he hit the guy and they started fighting. After it was broken up the other guy decided to punch the door of my classroom and break all of the glass out. They said there was blood everywhere. They were both my students. Why, Why, Why? So far Academy 2/3--my academy, has had 5 referrals.

There were two other referrals for students being truant to class that I have to deal with. Oh man.

I almost had a meltdown last week. I was upset about some bad decisions that I've been making, but also about some issues with my job. My boss called to ask me if I'd apply for the JILG program job and I agreed so I had to go to a training. NOT FUN, but I went anyway. Then on Wednesday, the former assistant principal called to ask me if I could sub as the assistant principal. I was a little unnerved, actually a lot unnnerved because I don't want to sub, I want the job. For some reason that caused me to have a panic attack. I texted Lady to ask her for help and she called me back, but at that time I was on the road home.

Right now I'm a bit confused. I've been praying about what I need to do. I want the job as assistant principal, but I don't know if it's for me. I love the new structure of the school and that makes the job a little less intimidating. I'd be responsible for my own academy which is about 4oo students, but I think I can deal with that. The only thing that I don't want to deal with is fights. There are some students who simply love to fight and they love to be involved with mess. I don't think I can handle that though. I'm praying; I need some guidance.

When my boss called me in Dallas to tell me about the new JILG program I got a little bit excited, especially since I talked to NJ. She gave me the run down of the program and let me know the basic framework, I was more excited, except for the fact that I would "have" to work during the summer, but I was getting paid extra for it so I was okay with it. So I told my boss on last Tuesday that I would be interested in teaching the new program. She told me the job was posted and I applied for it that day. Then she told me that I needed to go to a training on the 5-7th. I told her that I wouldn't be able to do that because I had my trip to Puerto Rico planned for the 5-9th. She emailed me to tell me that I HAD to attend the training. UGH, I almost cried. I had to cancel my trip. I waited until Monday to cancel. I didn't want to, ugh. So I'm sitting in this training not really learning anything new and upset. I've worked in student support so this program is similar so I know about documentation and keep up with students and "babysitting" students to try to make sure that they are heading towards success.

I've been annoyed the past couple of days and I keep telling myself that I need to fake the funk, but for some reason I can't. I don't know how people put on the happy face. I"m trying. Then to make matters worse they've cut the training short a day. Ugh. So Matt is trying to talk to us about follow up and I"m blogging.