30 Something

My bf has been teaching me how to drive my stick shift, so on Thursday night after my lesson, I spent the night. After a really good dose of lovin he tells me he loves me. No, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I didnt' want to hear that because I made it up in my mind that I would not let my emotions get in the way. I was finished with the love crap. I just wanted to f*ck. So, i was a little confused as to where we were, so I sent him an e-mail to get clarification on our status. He replied that when were got back together the first time he made a lot of changes and that he was still unsure if he wanted to sacrifice his lifestlye to fit me in. He was also unsure of my committment levels. I replied to him that I didn't want him to change anything, I simply wanted to know if there was an option of "us" in the future. He didn't reply, but I did confess to him that I wanted to have a baby. He didn't reply to that either. I showed a friend of mine the e-mail that I sent him and she said that I was giving away my power to him. This was my quote,

Of course, I understand if you need more time to do whatever before you can decide if
there is still an option of "us" (note I said an option), I just want to know.  I'm pretty
patient and I can wait a long time.

I didn't think I was giving up my power.  I just want him to take his time to think about it before he totally
commit a decision. I know she will say the same thing if I show her my another response to his reply, 
 
"I'm not asking you to make any changes.  I know that you are seeing other women and u have ur
lifestyle.  I'm okay with that... well not really, but under the circumstances, I have to be.  I
know it will take time for us to get back together if that is what we are going to do, I just
wanted to know if that was even an option.


That is giving away power, but I don't think I have an option besides just leaving him.  So here we are.    

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 at 3:55 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.