30 Something

My ex called me yesterday to ask me what I needed. He was responding to my desperate plea for help the other night when I locked my keys in the truck. I told him what happened and how I felt so alone and like I didn't have any friends and he apologized profusely. He stated that he didn't have a good reason not to answer the phone just that he didn't. I told him about the suspicious old man that came up to me and he laughed and said that the old man wasn't going to harm me. That kind of ticked me off. He always blows me off when I tell him things that happened. Basically, the reason the old man rattled me was because my sister was attacked by a man that walked up to her when she was standing in my grandmother's front yard waiting on her friends to pick her up for a b-ball game. The man could have killed her. He stabbed her three times and one wound was very close to the main artery in her leg the sends blood to the heart and the doctor said that if he had hit that artery she could have bled to death. So I'm always trying to be cautious. But he seems to think that I'm overreacting. Another time that he said that I was overreacting was two years ago when I got sick and had to stay in the hospital for a week. Basically, when I went into labor, because Talia was so tiny (she was born weighing 1lb 7oz.)and she was breech, I had to have a c-section. So as I was healing my blood clotted abnormally and caused me to have two massive blood clots in my lungs--pulmonary embolism. Excruciating pain. I thought I was going to die. Actually I the condition can be fatal, but he seems to think that I was fine and that I wouldn't have died. He conpared it to a terminal disease. Of course it wasn't terminal, but it could have been fatal. I got sick the day before Talia's funeral and he asked the doctor if i could leave to attend her funeral and the doctor told him that if I left I could die because my blood clots were massive and I needed to be medicated to prevent more. I don't know how he can tell me that I was going to be fine and that I didn't have anything to worry about because it wasn't a terminal illness. For the longest after I got out of the hospital I was afraid that i was going to die in my sleep. Blood clots are like that. They float in your blood stream and eventually clog something up and the next thing you know, you're dead because the blood stopped flowing. Because of my episode I'm always subseptible to clots. I can't use certain meds becuase of the risk factors. I did have my blood tested to see if I had the disease that causes blood to clot abnormally. I had to have two test done becuase the first came back inconclusive. The second came back negative, but that doesn't mean that it won't change. I have chest pains sometimes and panic. I don't know if it's just paranoia or what, but it does scare me sometimes. So anyway, my ex was dismissing the fact that the old man could have harmed me, but he continued to apologize to me. I told him that I felt like I didn't have any friends. His response, "I'm not your friend?" I told him that's how I felt. He said the he was sorry that I felt that way. Then we got into a discussion of who owes who money. I know I didn't borrow any money from him becuase I haven't been broke in a long time, but he called me about a month ago asking to borrow money and I told him that I would give him what he needed and that I needed to drop it off to him because I was getting my hair done the next day. He didn't remember this. That's a role reversal because normally I'm the one the forgets.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 at 8:33 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.