30 Something

I'm having an issue that comes and goes and I'm praying to God to get over it. The founder of the organization that I work for and I had a discussion about me becoming the Executive Director. I was excited and scared at the same time. I want to fulfil the will of God for myself, but I know that I'm insufficient of myself and that my sufficiency comes from God. She asked me who I would like to work with. I told her that the current staff person will do even though I didn't think that me and this person could work well together, but she knows more about the office than me and with my schedule I don't have enough time to learn everything. So I was ready to take on the role of ED, but I had my thoughts of what my duties would be so I've been trying to get into that role, but it's like she's in my way and she keeps doing things that I"m supposed to do, so I step back because I don't like to compete and in my stepping back I've become jealous of her because I feel that she is doing what I'm supposed to do. For some reason that spirit keeps attacking me and I hate it because I know what God is calling me to do, but it seems like I keep going back and forth in what I want to do. God, I need help!!!! The Bible says that jealousy is as cruel as the grave and I don't have the time or the energy to deal with that spirit. I need to know that I know that God has called me to this position and that I need to do what I am required to do, but I don't want to be selfish and I don't want to think that I"m all that because I am insufficient in myself--only God has given me what He has given me, it's not because of anything that I have done. God, help me!!! I was reading about King Saul and how David wasn't even the king and Saul was jealous that others recognized what God had put in him and Saul took his eyes off God and that spirit came upon Him and the spirit of God left him. God, please don't take your spirit from me!!! I've got to fulfill my purpose!!!!!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 10:24 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.