Second email
· Why can’t we just be a family? Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why?
Because maybe it wasn't meant to be. i mean honestly do u really want a family with him, the way he is. why wait until he change, when mr, right can be right around the corner.
· Why doesn’t he miss me?
because u don't allow him to miss u. ignore him. don't send text, email, etc. and believe me he'll show up. pretend he's dead
· How can he act like nothing has ever transpired between us (8 years of a bond, and a daughter)
again, he has issues. u were too good for him from the start. instead of him rising to meet your standards, u just lowered urself to his. 8 years is a long time and not easily to get over, but why not treat him the same way that he treats u. i know it's hard.
· How can he be with these no-nothing girls?
because that's what he deserves. he doesn't want to better himself, so get with a chick that ain't going no where (ebonics, lol)
· Why does he text me “I love y’all” every blue moon?
that's a form of control. that's proof that he misses u. ugh. hello, remember my dion situation? he needs his ego boosted so if he tells u he loves u and when u respond he knows that he still has u.
· Why doesn’t he feel what I feel?
do u really really believe that it would work. honestly, the hardest thing for a person to do is change. and i know that u won't accept him the way he is so these feelings u have are just old feelings. u are way better now. just don't let the old feelings keep creeping up on u. u have moved on, u just need to keep telling urself that.
· Why isn’t he a better father?
cause he is a jerk. u can't make a person be anything. accept the fact that he's a jerk.
· How can he just not care? (when this is me, who has been there from the beginning)
that's the problem. u are still there. let go
· When is he ever going to grow up? (Will be 30 this year?)
hahahaha. when do jerks ever grow up. he'll be 50 and still acting the same way. don't waste ur time.
· Why can’t I let go?
u can, u just have to keep telling urself that u can. it's gonna take time, but it'll happen. prayer works.
· Why can’t I move on?
see again, u keep telling urself that u can't but u can. u'll wake up one morning and realize that the weight (wait) has been lifted. as in the burden of him (weight) and the fact that you are waiting for mr. right. it'll happen. (i'm such a dork)
· Why am I single?
because u need to time to get rid of all of the residue of him. be patient.
· Why haven’t I found Mr. Right yet?
two things, either he's not ready for u or u aren't ready for him. does that make sense?
· Hell, Why haven’t I found someone just to date and do stuff with?
hahahahaha, too many distractions. hahahaha. do i really believe the stuff taht i'm saying.
· Why am I still holding this light of hope that our bond is still there?
it's not there anymore. the only thing that is there is leftover feelings. and u know if u keep leftovers too long they stink.
· Why am I still dreaming about him, after all these years?
dreaming. girl, that's the devil.
· Why is he still under my skin?
cause that's where he wants to be. again, i say that's the devil trying to reel u back in again. u fought to hard for ur freedom, don't go back to egypt . (my pastor has been preaching about freedom. i think i'm learning something)
· Why haven’t I got a clue?
· Why whenever we happen to be in the same place, I can’t cope…and struggle not to break down?
okay, there will be no breaking down when he's around. i'm not having that. nope, uh um, not happening. we must keep our cool at all times.
· Why do I still cry over him?
spilled milk, i think we learned that in kindergarten
· Why can’t I accept that things are over and he has moved on?
cause u want it to work. u just ahve to accept that it won't work. at least not now
· Why do I still care?
cause 8 years is a long time
· Why do I still replay all the things that have happened between us, good and bad?
the bigger questions is why r u tormenting urself. u have a spirit of torment. keeps replaying stuff over and over in ur mind. i've been learning a lot in church lately... i'll find the scripture.
· Why do I still pray for him?
cause u r a good person and good people do that. keep praying for him. he needs it. just don't pray that ya'll will be together. u know God sometimes gives us what we ask for and when we get it's not what we want.
· Will me moving to Bloomington make a difference?
Kind of, u can't invite him up.
okay, so hopefully u wont' get offended by any of my answers becasue i'm in the same boat. i was gonna call u this weekend cause carlos was in town and i needed a cover up as to why i didn't want to see him and i figured if i was out with u then it wouldn't be a big deal to tell him that i didn't want to see him, but it didn't work that way. he ended up coming over becasue i just couldn't form my mouth to say that word "no" to him. however, i thanked God that my sis was there casue as long as she was there i knew i wasn't gonna allow him to stay, but my dumb self asked him to spend the night anyway despite the fact that everything in me was going against it and plus i never have company when my sister is there. Well, God heard my prayers and instead of him spending the night and me getting into trouble, he turned me down and left to go back home. do u know that i was depressed when he left. what is wrong with me? i was praying the same things that u r asking. i was asking God why couldn't we be together and why couldn't i just move on. so i guess in answering ur 25 questions it wasn't so much for u,but for me.
so here is what i need u to do. i need to let him go because i guage my success of a good relationship on u. so if u can't let go of an 8 yr relationship, then how in the world can i let go of a pseudo 4 year relationship. please, please please, for my sake let go. i need u to let go. forget about the fact that you have a daughter that u need to set a good example for. i'm sure if she was in ur shoes, u'd tell her the exact thing. plus, u've got a new job in a new place. i'm sure there are men there. oh and yeah when u find them, please mention me. lol. i love u much!!!!
Because maybe it wasn't meant to be. i mean honestly do u really want a family with him, the way he is. why wait until he change, when mr, right can be right around the corner.
· Why doesn’t he miss me?
because u don't allow him to miss u. ignore him. don't send text, email, etc. and believe me he'll show up. pretend he's dead
· How can he act like nothing has ever transpired between us (8 years of a bond, and a daughter)
again, he has issues. u were too good for him from the start. instead of him rising to meet your standards, u just lowered urself to his. 8 years is a long time and not easily to get over, but why not treat him the same way that he treats u. i know it's hard.
· How can he be with these no-nothing girls?
because that's what he deserves. he doesn't want to better himself, so get with a chick that ain't going no where (ebonics, lol)
· Why does he text me “I love y’all” every blue moon?
that's a form of control. that's proof that he misses u. ugh. hello, remember my dion situation? he needs his ego boosted so if he tells u he loves u and when u respond he knows that he still has u.
· Why doesn’t he feel what I feel?
do u really really believe that it would work. honestly, the hardest thing for a person to do is change. and i know that u won't accept him the way he is so these feelings u have are just old feelings. u are way better now. just don't let the old feelings keep creeping up on u. u have moved on, u just need to keep telling urself that.
· Why isn’t he a better father?
cause he is a jerk. u can't make a person be anything. accept the fact that he's a jerk.
· How can he just not care? (when this is me, who has been there from the beginning)
that's the problem. u are still there. let go
· When is he ever going to grow up? (Will be 30 this year?)
hahahaha. when do jerks ever grow up. he'll be 50 and still acting the same way. don't waste ur time.
· Why can’t I let go?
u can, u just have to keep telling urself that u can. it's gonna take time, but it'll happen. prayer works.
· Why can’t I move on?
see again, u keep telling urself that u can't but u can. u'll wake up one morning and realize that the weight (wait) has been lifted. as in the burden of him (weight) and the fact that you are waiting for mr. right. it'll happen. (i'm such a dork)
· Why am I single?
because u need to time to get rid of all of the residue of him. be patient.
· Why haven’t I found Mr. Right yet?
two things, either he's not ready for u or u aren't ready for him. does that make sense?
· Hell, Why haven’t I found someone just to date and do stuff with?
hahahahaha, too many distractions. hahahaha. do i really believe the stuff taht i'm saying.
· Why am I still holding this light of hope that our bond is still there?
it's not there anymore. the only thing that is there is leftover feelings. and u know if u keep leftovers too long they stink.
· Why am I still dreaming about him, after all these years?
dreaming. girl, that's the devil.
· Why is he still under my skin?
cause that's where he wants to be. again, i say that's the devil trying to reel u back in again. u fought to hard for ur freedom, don't go back to egypt . (my pastor has been preaching about freedom. i think i'm learning something)
· Why haven’t I got a clue?
· Why whenever we happen to be in the same place, I can’t cope…and struggle not to break down?
okay, there will be no breaking down when he's around. i'm not having that. nope, uh um, not happening. we must keep our cool at all times.
· Why do I still cry over him?
spilled milk, i think we learned that in kindergarten
· Why can’t I accept that things are over and he has moved on?
cause u want it to work. u just ahve to accept that it won't work. at least not now
· Why do I still care?
cause 8 years is a long time
· Why do I still replay all the things that have happened between us, good and bad?
the bigger questions is why r u tormenting urself. u have a spirit of torment. keeps replaying stuff over and over in ur mind. i've been learning a lot in church lately... i'll find the scripture.
· Why do I still pray for him?
cause u r a good person and good people do that. keep praying for him. he needs it. just don't pray that ya'll will be together. u know God sometimes gives us what we ask for and when we get it's not what we want.
· Will me moving to Bloomington make a difference?
Kind of, u can't invite him up.
okay, so hopefully u wont' get offended by any of my answers becasue i'm in the same boat. i was gonna call u this weekend cause carlos was in town and i needed a cover up as to why i didn't want to see him and i figured if i was out with u then it wouldn't be a big deal to tell him that i didn't want to see him, but it didn't work that way. he ended up coming over becasue i just couldn't form my mouth to say that word "no" to him. however, i thanked God that my sis was there casue as long as she was there i knew i wasn't gonna allow him to stay, but my dumb self asked him to spend the night anyway despite the fact that everything in me was going against it and plus i never have company when my sister is there. Well, God heard my prayers and instead of him spending the night and me getting into trouble, he turned me down and left to go back home. do u know that i was depressed when he left. what is wrong with me? i was praying the same things that u r asking. i was asking God why couldn't we be together and why couldn't i just move on. so i guess in answering ur 25 questions it wasn't so much for u,but for me.
so here is what i need u to do. i need to let him go because i guage my success of a good relationship on u. so if u can't let go of an 8 yr relationship, then how in the world can i let go of a pseudo 4 year relationship. please, please please, for my sake let go. i need u to let go. forget about the fact that you have a daughter that u need to set a good example for. i'm sure if she was in ur shoes, u'd tell her the exact thing. plus, u've got a new job in a new place. i'm sure there are men there. oh and yeah when u find them, please mention me. lol. i love u much!!!!
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on Saturday, January 05, 2008 at 11:37 AM.
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