30 Something

I will be in Albuquerque on Friday. I will be staying for 6 days. I"m so happy that I"m getting away from my job. Actually it's bitter sweet because my boss will be gone those same days. I wish she could leave when I come back. The atmosphere for me will be so much better if she's gone when i'm here. Jef, the new guy I've been going out with has been pressuring me to have sex with him. We met about a month ago. He's older--40 something. He says he has a "friend", but I'm not feeling the sex-one-night-a-week-cause-you-got-do-your-"friend" thing. I'm doing that now and it's totally frustrating. I need to be banged at least 3 times a week and he doesn't understand that. So I've been putting him off. Also, I'm a little self-conscious about my body now. If I lose about 10lbs. I may be more tempted to accomodate him. I don't understand the whole poligomous relationships anyway. Of course I was younger once and I've cheated before, but I feel like I'm too old for that now. Of course I don't want to be in a committed relationship, but If I'm going to screw someone I want to be the only one that he is screwing. Another guy that I've been talking to one the phone wants desparately to be in a committed relationship. I'm definitely not feeling him that way. He is way too desparate and we argue about everything. BTDT and not going there again. That would be a waste of my time. Other news. I've had insomnia lately. I don't know why. It started on Sunday when I spent the night at my wannabe bf house. I was hot and kept tossing and turning. He was tossing and turning also. He got up at 4:30am and said that his stomach was hurting and went to the bathroom and came back to smoke pot to get back to sleep and since then I haven't been able to sleep lately. I find myself praying to God while I'm half sleep. I need to get a good book to read on the plane ride to NM and back. I don't know what I'm going to read. I'll have to do some searching for something good.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 09, 2005 at 9:50 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.