30 Something

So on the last day of my trip to NM, my co-worker and I went to a restaurant to eat dinner. We ordered drinks and a meal and small talked throughout. Close to the time that we were leaving the waitress came to inform me that the gentleman at the bar would like to order me a drink. I was so shocked. It was totally unexpected. Of course I shot a few glances his way, but it was only to see what he looked like not to drum up anything. So I asked the waitress if he was cute. She stated that she didn't know and that she would find out. She came back to tell me that she couldn't see so I agreed to a drink and he bought one for me and my co-worker. How sweet, how smooth, ooh la la. So I waited for him to come over. He didn't move. So after several peeks by both of us and nervous banter with my co-worker I walked over. I planned to say something stupid about walking over, but he started the conversation and it went well besides my being a little tipsy and repeating myself a couple of times. I found out that he lived in Detroit, owned a tow truck company, has one daughter, is 31 and single, "Not yet," was his response when I asked him if he had a woman at home in Detroit. My interest was definitely piqued. So in the end we exchanged numbers. He wanted to hang out longer, but I had go to the hotel to pack for an early morning flight. So the next morning I did something that I thought was stupid at the time and called him at 6:30 in the morning. He was still sleeping. I apologized for waking him but wanted to tell him that I was glad that I met him and to thank him for the drinks and to apologize for not being able to hang out longer the night before. So I was happy on the way home. I got home on Thursday evening and searched frantically for his phone number so that I could call him on Friday evening. I swore that I threw it away, but I praised God when I found it sitting on my vanity under a book or something. He was with friends, so he told me he would call me back. Now at that point I got a little feeling that this wouldn't work out. If I was with my friends and girl that I liked called I would skip the friend thing and talk to her. But of course I'm not a guy, so I don't know what a guy would do. So I said okay and he called me on Sat morning around 11 and I was being lazy in the bed and I told him that and we chit chatted, but then he said that he was going to let me rest. Okay, so again I got that feeling because I was up and talking by then. So I called him Sunday afternoon to talk and I decided that I was going to engage him in a good conversation and after talking he said that his cell phone's battery was dead and that the phone was going to go out and that he was going to get a new phone on Monday and he would call me then. I said okay and was a little sad cause this seemed like the third excuse for not talking to me or not wanting to talk to me. Okay, so now I'm getting into my investigative exploratory self. If he didn't want to talk to me he just wouldn't have called right? Why would he seem so confident and nice and suggestive about getting to know each other in the first place if he wasn't interested? Why not just give me his room number and not his cell number? Why give me his number in the first place, why not just ask for mine and then not call if he wasn't interested? Why, Why, Why, Why, WHY, WHY, WHY........I'm so confused cause I don't want to get all hyped up about him and then it be a let down. I don't want another broken heart. So I was okay with it until I called De on last night. I called around 9:30. He didn't answer the phone. I became depressed and sad and melancholy and all of those words that are pitiful. So I almost came to the decision to have sex with Jef which I don't want to but at least he's willing to spend money on me. I don't want to make that decision, but I think I have to because I don't want to be alone and I like having sex and I need someone. I'm not okay by myself. I want to beg Mr. Detroit to like me cause I like him. But I'm not going to stoop that low.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 21, 2005 at 9:52 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.