30 Something

I read this book a while ago called "blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. I loved it so much so I checked it out again. In the book he talks about the power of thinking w/o thinking. He talks about how our subconscious can give us the answers to things that consciously we may overthink about and make the wrong decision. What interest me so much is the fact that there is this study about marriages and relationships in the book done by the Gottman Institute of Marriage. John Gottman did a research where 3000 couples were recorded having a converstation with each other for 15 minutes. He watched the couples and predicted within a 95% rate which couples would divorce and which wouldn't if they didn't get help with their marriages. He then shortened his research by using three minute clips to determine 90% of the couples who would divorce or not. He studied the couples over three decades to make his determinations. I was so intrigued by this that I had to read it again. Basically he says that couples have to have more positive than negative in a relationship and also that if one person in the relationship has contempt for the other then if that don't change the couples will not make it. So I looked at my relationship with my bf and decided that we are doomed. He never really answered my question when i asked him if we had a smiggen of "us" left in his mind, so I assumed that no response meant "no". But then I started thinking about us and surely he had contempt for me. I feel that he thinks I'm worthless and I need to let him go. I just need to get him out of my system. I don't know how though. I don't know how to just let go and I'm so mad at myself for not being able to let go. I wish I can just talk to him and ask him what is wrong with me.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 21, 2005 at 10:30 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.