30 Something

One of my students was presenting a speech and she wanted me to critique her. Her speech was entitled "Love." She basically wanted to express what love is. She read a scripture about love and it got me to thinking.



to be continued...

The new guy I met a on last weekend was okay. He was a little bit goofy and quite "street". So I wasn't sure if I was feeling that or not. I mean, I like a guy who is a bit of a ruffneck, but is also not a thug who hangs out in the streets too much and it seems to me that he is the type that would be in the streets a little bit too much for me. I don't know if the timing is just wrong or not, but he's not "available" enough for me. So I went out with this other guy who works here, but lives in a town about 40 miles away. We went to dinner and since the movies were out due to the tornado the other week (the power was still out at the theater), we decided to hang out at d'arcy pint for some drinks. I've heard they have the best horseshoes. What is a horseshoe, you ask? I hadn't the slightest idea until last night. Apparently, its an open face typ of sandwich that is topped with french fries and some kind of cheese sauce. I was too stuffed from the olive garden to want to try one. So we joked and laughed and had a few drinks. On the way back to my car, we chatted and he gave me a really good kiss. I love to kiss and he was good. Not as good as Mr. B, but good. So we ended up making out at his place. It got really late and instead of driving back home in the middle of the night he let me stay at his place. I had a really good time. He woke me up early this morning so that I could go to work. I was way too tired to get up so he let me sleep until 9:30. I got to work today at 1.

There is a cute guy that works in the restaurant next to H & R Block where I work. Usually when I'm at block I eat lunch at the restaurant. So last week I saw a really cute guy that worked there and I decided that I wanted to find out who he was so it took me at least 3 meals and almost $50, but I finally got up the nerve to talk to him yesterday. As I went to pick up my lunch i asked him if his gf would be made if I gave him my number. He was so sweet and a little bashful. I could tell by his stance. I took him off guard, but he told me that he didn't have a gf and I mentioned that that info was good to know and I wrote my cell # on the back of my card and handed it to him. He then asked me when I was leaving work and told me he would call me later in the evening. So I got home and my friend called to tell me that she was in the hospital. She had appendicitis and they removed her ruptured appendix. So I jumped up and went to see her. He called when I was at the hospital and I told him that I would return his call after my visit. I sat with my friend for a while, but I had to leave because my stomach started to hurt. That chicken I bought earlier took a number on me. I stayed up for a while last night cause it was trying to come out of both ends. I didn't think I would have gotten to work this morning, but I woke up feeling better. But before I wrestled with my stomach all night I did get a chance to talk to Mr. Wingzone. He's a manager there and will be moving in a couple of weeks to a nearby town to open another store. He's going to come visit me for lunch today and we are going to go bowling after work. I'm pretty excited.

So I was having a discussion with my ex and he mentioned that if he wasn't good at blowing a woman's mind he wouldn't be good for anything. So I told him that he was good at making people comfortable enough to talk to him because when we first met, I spilled my guts to him and that's totally out of my character. So he responded by saying that he only did that to get sex. He stated that "ppl feel better having talked to someone. they feel good enough and comfortable enough to want to fuck, and since they just found a new friend, why not fuck him(me). that doesn't happen all the time, but when it starts, I see it coming and I wont even allow myself to stop it". So I told him that I didn't know that there was a method to his madness and he basically just charms himself into girls pants. So of course i was trying to understand this in my mind and I figured that I do the same thing. In order for me to want to find out some info about a person I usually charm it out of them. I get really friendly and talkative and before I know it I've got the information. At first I thought this was really bad of me, but now that I know he does that to sleep with women, I don't feel so bad. I guess people have ways of getting what they want.

My ex then stated that he's going to abstain from sex because he feels that all he has to offer is his member. I don't think he'll last. A little birdy told me that he's not doing so well in the parenting department. His son wants to go back to live with his grandmother.

I went to the dentist this and as I went into the room I panic so bad that I almost walked back out the door. But I made myself sit down in the chair, but I started shaking. I was having a bad anxiety attack. I hate the little needle. It's so horrible and the whole time I was praying that the dentist didn't slip and cut me with the drill. For some reason I always need extra novacaine, so surely when he was drilling my second tooth to fill I felt the drill and he had to stick me a fourth time. I'm feeling anxious thinking about it now. Whew. I'm never eating sweets again. I promise.

A friend of mine called me on Monday to ask me if she could confide something to me that she hasn't talked to anyone else about. I suspected that it had something to do with her marriage becuase for the past couple of weeks she hasn't worn her wedding ring. She told me that she would talk to me when she got to work. So when she got here, we only had about 10 min. to talk. She basically said that she and her husband was thinking about separating or divorcing. Of course i was frantic and asked why and she began to tell me that she hated having sex and that her husband was never at home. Okay, okay..... I was a little baffled because of course I'm not married and have never been married, but I think that those are things that can be fixed. Well, the hating sex part may require licensed professional help, but the husband never being home part is fixable. Right? When they got married he worked two jobs. A 9-5 and a weekend job that required him to work all weekend. He basically works so that she and his son can have "nice things." He's seems to me to be materialistic like that. He wants his wife and child to have the best. She doesn't even have to work if she doesn't want to. But then I told her that maybe they needed to take a vacation or something. She explained to me that he goes on vacation with is parents and his ex-wife's parents. WTF?????? Okay, that got me there. So I'm not sure what is really going on....

I woke up early yesterday and got ready for work. I needed to stop by the store to pick up some stuff for work. I got down to my truck and there was mega snow. So I cleaned the truck off and started it up and went back inside to let it warm up. My neighbor who was waiting on her bf to get home informed me that all the schools were closed. I called work because we don't close for anything. Sure enough we were closed. I guess because the public schools and daycares were closed it made sense for us to be closed because majority of the people would not have been able to get child care. And I guess we do have people who live out in the boonies who come to school here so they wouldn't have been able to get out. So on my day off I fixed a really cute shirt that I bought (it was too sizes too big). I did laundry and I lounged around and was lazy the rest of the day.

Mr. B called to invite me to play pool earlier, but he didn't call me back. I don't know why, but I was nervous about going because a lot of his friends were playing and I didn't want to meet his friends. I'm uncomfortable meeting new people. My new assignment is to make a list of things that I like to do that I'm willing to do to nuture my friendships. I'm such a nonchalant and antisocial person that staying at home by myself is not a problem. As a matter of fact I prefer to stay at home instead of be bothered with people, but that type of attitude is killing my friendships. I need to be comfortable enough to call someone in the middle of the night when I need help and the way that I am now is not conducive to my friends. So I'm going to make myself be more friendly. I can't just rely on my guy friends all the time. I need some girl friends that can get my back if I need it.

So, Mr. B. called me yesterday morning. I was little happy. However, Mr. Stand Me Up called me and wanted to see me. I didn't want to see him, but I went downstairs anyway. He started asking me if I was seeing anyone else and if I still had feelings for him. He then asked me for a hug and I hugged him and he tried to stick his tongue down my throat and grope me and I told him that he wasn't turning me on at all. I was pretty disgusted. It made me sad to know that he only wants to have sex with me. Yes, that's what he told me (not in so many words). But I understood him when he asked me why I wanted to be "tied down" to a man and that I needed to be free, but he wanted to eat my *&^))*^(*&^. Normally if I like a man being that blunt would turn me on, but I was turned on at all. I went back upstairs feeling pretty cheap. Then Mr. B called me again. He noticed that I wasn't my chipper self and asked me what was wrong. I told him that some men only see me as a good f*ck. So to help myself feel better I decided to flirt with him. I thought that I would feel better, but I didn't. He did try to cheer me up and that was good.

My ex called me yesterday to ask me what I needed. He was responding to my desperate plea for help the other night when I locked my keys in the truck. I told him what happened and how I felt so alone and like I didn't have any friends and he apologized profusely. He stated that he didn't have a good reason not to answer the phone just that he didn't. I told him about the suspicious old man that came up to me and he laughed and said that the old man wasn't going to harm me. That kind of ticked me off. He always blows me off when I tell him things that happened. Basically, the reason the old man rattled me was because my sister was attacked by a man that walked up to her when she was standing in my grandmother's front yard waiting on her friends to pick her up for a b-ball game. The man could have killed her. He stabbed her three times and one wound was very close to the main artery in her leg the sends blood to the heart and the doctor said that if he had hit that artery she could have bled to death. So I'm always trying to be cautious. But he seems to think that I'm overreacting. Another time that he said that I was overreacting was two years ago when I got sick and had to stay in the hospital for a week. Basically, when I went into labor, because Talia was so tiny (she was born weighing 1lb 7oz.)and she was breech, I had to have a c-section. So as I was healing my blood clotted abnormally and caused me to have two massive blood clots in my lungs--pulmonary embolism. Excruciating pain. I thought I was going to die. Actually I the condition can be fatal, but he seems to think that I was fine and that I wouldn't have died. He conpared it to a terminal disease. Of course it wasn't terminal, but it could have been fatal. I got sick the day before Talia's funeral and he asked the doctor if i could leave to attend her funeral and the doctor told him that if I left I could die because my blood clots were massive and I needed to be medicated to prevent more. I don't know how he can tell me that I was going to be fine and that I didn't have anything to worry about because it wasn't a terminal illness. For the longest after I got out of the hospital I was afraid that i was going to die in my sleep. Blood clots are like that. They float in your blood stream and eventually clog something up and the next thing you know, you're dead because the blood stopped flowing. Because of my episode I'm always subseptible to clots. I can't use certain meds becuase of the risk factors. I did have my blood tested to see if I had the disease that causes blood to clot abnormally. I had to have two test done becuase the first came back inconclusive. The second came back negative, but that doesn't mean that it won't change. I have chest pains sometimes and panic. I don't know if it's just paranoia or what, but it does scare me sometimes. So anyway, my ex was dismissing the fact that the old man could have harmed me, but he continued to apologize to me. I told him that I felt like I didn't have any friends. His response, "I'm not your friend?" I told him that's how I felt. He said the he was sorry that I felt that way. Then we got into a discussion of who owes who money. I know I didn't borrow any money from him becuase I haven't been broke in a long time, but he called me about a month ago asking to borrow money and I told him that I would give him what he needed and that I needed to drop it off to him because I was getting my hair done the next day. He didn't remember this. That's a role reversal because normally I'm the one the forgets.

I've been trying to lose about 20lbs. for the past 6 mos. with no success. So i've been inspired by a fellow blogger to record my journey. So i'm going to start a new weight loss journew in a new blog. I'm not much for fad diets so my journey will include a modified eating plan (simply reducing calories, and getting rid of some of the junk food that i eat.) It will also include a journal of my workout routine.

The only type of man that I've been attracting lately have been either married or men who are in long term committed relationships who want someone on the side. Mr. Naperville has been iming me constantly trying to get me to continue to be his "woman on the side." This was our convo this morning:

him: how are u feeling this morning
me: tired
him: awww
him: want my tonge to taste u?
me: no, i'm not in the mood
him: what about tommorow or next week
me: no
him: please
him: would u ever let me spend a night with u
me: no
him: y are u being so mean
me: i'm not being mean. i'm looking out for myself
me: i would get caught up in u and it would be for nothing. i'm not putting myself out like that
him: how would u get caught up?
me: i like talking to u, but as far as sex, i don't want to go there
him: u would get pleasure out of it too
me: because in order to get into that with u, i would have to be detached and i can't. i'm not like that. i tend to latch on to men that i have sex with
him: ok what if i said u would talk to me everyday and seem me at least once a week
me: that's another thing. i'm not a once a week type of girl
me: so again i would be left with the short end of the stick
him: i said at least, could be more
him: and if after we try it dont work, i would leave u alone
him: deal?
me: i know it won't work, so no i don't want to try
me: and how would we see each other anyway
him: i would come see u
me: when, i can't leave work all the time. and u would get tired of coming to see me
him: i dont think i would get tired of it, and i would make some time on the weekend also
him: please baby, i really want to see u
me: i don't want to
him: that is so fucked up
me: no it's not. i just don't want to get involved like that. that's my choice and there is nothing wrong with it
him: whatever

I'm the mean one because I don't want to be used. I like to add that he's not good in bed. I faked each time that we were together. I just don't have the heart to tell him that he is horrible.

J, another guy that I met in November keeps e-mailing me to get together. He told me that he has a gf that will always be there, but he wants me. We've never had sex, but we talked about it. I became uninterested in him when he stood me up a long time ago and didn't decide to contact me until a month later. He was another one who wanted it at least once a week. I've not a once a week girl, I need it at least once a day. I'm killing my little toys. They need a rest so why would I get with a man who will only serve to frustrate me more than I'm frustrated now.

I've been thinking lately with all the diff guys who are attached and want me to be their mistress I could make a killing if I want to. I could have a lot of my bills paid, but I 'm not sure what I would have to pay for emotionally. That's what keeps me from not doing it. If I didn't have to pay for it, I'd go for it.

So I met Mr. B in a martini bar. I guess I was too drunk to hear him say that he was married. So we hung out and when I found out I already made it up in my mind that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. I know some women can have relationships with married men, but I can't because I need to have a man that is accessible to me 24/7. I don't want to have to tiptoe around and sneak around and wonder what I'm not supposed to do. I want to be free to fall in love. So I made it up in my mind that I would go out with him and that I can even kiss him (he's an amazing kisser), but that would be it. However, on last Thursday I crossed the line a little bit. When we went out he told me that he really like me. So i started flirting heavily. At the end of the night I was standing between his legs and all up in his face talking to him. I was drunk with all of these warm fuzzy feelings. I hadn't had too much to drink because I only had one drink, but i was so excited that he was digging me that my mind went a little crazy. So he drove me home and I asked him up. Why? I don't know. I wanted to kiss and he's an amazing kisser. So we got up to my place and I knew i wasn't going to have sex with him because I didn't want to, but I wanted to get hot and heavy with him. I was trying to be careful because I didn't want him to think that I wanted to have sex with him, but I threw careful out the door when he pulled me on top of him. It was great. (no, we didn't have sex, but it was pretty hot and heavy). By the time he left I was down to my underwear. He was I had him cornered at the door, but he wouldn't stop kissing me. So I slipped out of my jeans and my top. I wanted him to caress me, but he knew better. I wanted to touch him, but he wouldn't let me. So it was fun. Definitly a lot of fun. So I was thinking about if I could just have sex with him.

I was listening to Michael Baisden show on the radio and the topic of the day was "The other woman". There were women who are proud to be the other woman, there were women who got financial incentives from being the other woman. The the wives and gfs of the cheating men called him also. Their point was that their husbands and bfs weren't going to leave them so even though they didn't like the fact that the man was tipping out, they dealt with if because he "took care of home." Then the professionals chimed in with the realistic view that "what comes around goes around." So it was a pretty interesting convo that they were having. So after listening to that I was trying to make it up in my mind if I wanted to deal with the ramifications of being the other woman. After yesteday and how Mr. B reacted I'm not sure if I want to be. I think that his mindset was, "y are u calling me?" "What am I supposed to do?" So I don't think that I will get into this relationship with him. I think that I would continue to be single until I found the man of my dreams.

I had a really good time at Wicked, however, unfortunately yesterday was a really good time to show me that I really don't have any friends.

When we got home last night, I made it to my apt. around 10:15pm. I had a lot of stuff to get out of the car so I mistakenly dropped my keys in the seat and locked the doors. So I was locked out. The first person that came to my mind to call was my ex because he's always told me that if I needed him to call him. So I called and he didn't answer the phone. So the second person that came to mind to call was Mike, but he was out of town so that would have been futile. So I text Mr. B. to tell him that i was panicing because i locked my keys in my car and I had a milion bags and it was cold and I did't know what to do. Of course I did know what to do, but I was paniced, so my brain wasn't working. I NEEDED HELP. Then this old man came up the stairs onto the porch and pretended to be looking for someone. I got nervous. Now of course he may have been looking for someone, but I'm a lonely girl outside in the dark, it's cold and I'm trying to get into a locked door. A good opportunity for someont to get me. So finally someone came to let me in. Now, I expected Mr. B. to come running to help me. I thought we were cool like that. But apparently not because he didn't even respond. So I called home at least try to see if my brother had my keys. No one answered the phone. I didn't have anyone else that I felt comfortable calling. I thought about calling Mere, but she lived way across town. Tammy was out of town so I couldn't call her. I thought about calling Cori, but I didn't feel comfortable. And finally I thought about calling Tonya. I didn't want to bother her because she has four young children and she wouldn't have been able to help. So there I was alone in the cold, in the dark, with no one.... So I finally called Mr. B and asked him why he didn't call me back. He said that he was out and about. What does that mean? He told me that the other day. I'm not sure what that means, but he's trying to tell me something, I'm not sure what. He told me that he would be over in 10 min. He showed up and sat in the car. By now I was at least inside the building out of the cold, but he didnt' call me or come up to see if I was okay, he just sat in the car. So I call him in the car and he didn't answer the phone. I was quite baffled. Something was up. So the tow truck finally came and I ran out and stood in the cold, Mr. B in his nice warm car, until he got my car unlocked. Afterwards Mike called me back, and my brother called me back, but no word from my ex. So I went over to Mr. B and he told me to get in the car. I was exasperrated. So I started rattling off how abandoned I felt and how I didn't have any friends and how terrible of a day it was. He tried to reason with me to tell me that I needed to keep my ins number in my phone or that I needed to buy one of those magnet things to put someone. Well, all of that was fine, but why didn't he help me. So I just decided that I didn't want to be the type of friend that he wanted me to be to him. Especially, since he was out and about and couldn't even respond to my text. So I need to make new friends. I need to be good friends to the girlfriends that I have because I need to be able to have someone to call when I'm in desperate need of help. I'm not close enough with any of my girlfriends to be able to call them in the middle of the night to help me. I had my ex for that, but apparently he's not available for me now. But, how do I make friends like that. All my life I've only had one best friend. I didn't have a lot of people that I was able to call and then when I got into a serious relationship I isolated myself from my friends because I had a man to fulfill the need of friendship and intimacy. So now that i don't have a man for that I need to make some new bonds. But I don't know how.

We are going to see Wicked in Chicago tomorrow. I'm so excited. Actually, I 'm a little too tired to be excited. The show has been sold out and we were lucky to get tickets. I'm also excited because I'm going to dress up. I can't wait. I'll post pics.

I kept hearing people talk about the "storm" yesterday and asking if the electicity had gone out. I just heard on this morning that Springfield was hit pretty badly. The roof blew off of a Wal-Mart store and messed up a lot of other stores. They said that it will take millions of dollars to restore the area. Where was I? Asleep. Like a log. I didn't know that there were 3 tornadoes and the sirens when off twice. Nope, I was out like a light. If the tornado had hit, I would have been rudely awakened. This time I didn't even pray. I remember about 7 years ago I was visiting here and a tornado hit (not bad, just high winds)I was staying at a friends studio apt. She woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me that the sirens were on and that i needed to get up because we needed to take cover. I was so tired that I refused to get up. I just prayed to God that I would be protected. Well, not that God answered my specific prayers, but the tornado wasn't bad at all.

Talia Renee Adams
6/28/2004-08/17/2004

I ordered a grave marker for my daughter today. She was born premature and live for almost 3 weeks. I know it's crazy that I'm just not ordering it, but I paid for her funeral and burial services and my ex (her dad)wanted to pay for the grave marker. Well, when she was born he didn't have enough money to get the marker. So I worked hard to help him get a job. He finally got a job where I work (despite him slacking off and not wanting to apply) in January 2005. So after that he was talking to the funeral people to get a marker. He never got it. So he came to me about a month ago to give me the money to go pay for it. The money sat and sat on my ottoman. The other day I needed to pay a bill and I just grabbed some of the money. Then I paid a couple other bills. So I decided that instead of spending all the money I needed to go ahead and order it. So I went today. I wished i could have done it over the internet or something because i just didn't feel like talking to anyone. Pam was really really nice and I appreciate her service i just felt like i had to pretend that i wasn't going to cry. I'm already not a talkative person so that made it worse. She tried to fill the time by talking about the storm last night. I was a little baffled. Storm?

One of my coworkers has been on vacation for almost two weeks. We wanted to let her know that she was missed:

My uncle im'd me this morning to tell me that my 16 year old sister is moving to Iowa with my other sister. Soon. Before school is out. Why? Because my sister was expelled from school. So my questions was, "why can't she enroll in the charter school there?" He stated that he thought the same thing. Then I proceeded to tell him that her moving to Iowa was not a good idea. Basically because my sister that lives in Iowas is not very stable. She's 23, a single parent and doesn't work. She hustles to make ends meet. She likes to run the streets. She sends her daughter to the neighbors or anyone else who will babysit for her so that she could "do her thing" whatever that is. I'm so dissappointed in the fact that my mother would even think about allowing that. Of course I can be over exaggerating, but I really believe the my lil sis will not have a positive experience.

I think my ex worships the devil:

him: u don't understand the contempt I have for anyone who goes to church... L*** and I have a running joke, when I hear christian music, I tell him it hurts my head, when I touch christian things I tell him it burns my skin...
him: I have made a new vow to never enter a church with the hopes of understanding a message... if I go it is to use someone... I dont even feel the way I felt when we met
him: my heart aches at the thought of people worshipping in a church. I told my uncle that I've worked a deal out with the devil and as long as I antagonize christians, he promises to look out for me
him: I don't blame u, I blame your church, I blame your god, I blame all christians for my pain


I'm horrified that he feels this way.

Okay, so I didn't get a chance to talk to Mr. Naperville this weekend. I found that a little odd (first red flag). Actually that was the second red flag because the first one was when I tried to call him one evening and he didn't answer the phone. I chalked it up to being nothing. Yea right. So on Monday I mentioned it and he said that he was really busy. Yesterday instead of get online I decided to do some work. Yes, I do actually have a job. So I didn't log on until noon. He was online and we began to chat. He told me that he was talking to his friend last night and his friend had an issue. Okay..... So I asked what the issue was. His friend had been seeing a girl for almost 3 mos. and the girl just told him yesterday that she is married. So he asked my opinion on what the friend should do. I told him that even though this friend really likes this girl, the relationship won't go anywhere until she get's a divorce and I reminded him that I"ve been in that situation before and it didn't turn out pleasant. So he then proceeds to ask me what I would do if i was in the situation. Third red flag... I told him that I would bow out the relationship. The I asked him, if he was trying to tell me that he was married. Pause, pause, pause. Then he responded, "don't be mad, but yes." Pause, pause, pause....

He's been calling me and iming me ever since pleading me to continue to be his friend. I told him that I wasn't interested at all. He then said that he wants to see me on Friday for breakfast or lunch. Whatever.

Since December I've gained the 10lbs. I was supposed to be going the other way. And I'm creeping up a size and I definitely don't want to do that. So for the past week I've been hitting the gym pretty hard. Since yesterday was the start of Lent I decided to commit to 40 days of giving up my sweet snacks. That's my weakness. My favorite is Little Debbie snack cakes and Hostess cupcakes (my ex got me hooked on those.) So yesterday before my two hour bit at the gym I went to the gas station with the intent to stuff myself full of cupcakes, but they didn't have any so I bought my last cake donut and zebra cake. I was eating it so fast I felt sorry for myself. So I pledge to leave abandon Little Debbie for 40 days and 40 nights. Now, I'm a firm believer that if one is to give up something, there must be a replacement, so I'm going to replace it with lowfat yogurt. So on the nights, when I get the munchies after good sex, I'm going to become friends with yoplait.

I think I've me the man of my dreams. He lives in Naperville and he's works as a network imaging something (can't remember what he said). So we've been chatting and I went to have breakfast with him the other day. I was impressed. He is attractive and fun. The only negative is that he's younger than me. I swore that I wouldn't date anyone younger than me. I've always felt that I wasn't old enough for that. He just turned 25. I'll be 29 this year. I guess in the grand scheme of things it's okay, but there's the issue of how serious is he about settling down. So far he seems pretty serious. From what I've been hearing guys are late bloomers, so that concerns me. I'm ready to get married and maybe start a family. Surprisingly, he was the one talking bout that stuff, but I'm still a little nervous. I told him that. He said that he was serious about settling down, so I guess we'll take it from there. So, I've got to do something with the other guys that I've been going out with. The married guy hasn't called me so I think I'm okay there. Nothing was going to come out of the relationship anyway. Mr. Appleton has been begging. I didn't know what else to tell him, so I told him that my ex and I were thinking bout getting back together. He seems to think that there is a divine intervention as to why we met. So we are destined to be together. I don't know. We've never even met in person, so I how am I supposed to know that we will get along in person. But he's desperately trying to hold on to me. We've know each other for two months and I haven't even told him all about me yet. Some stuff I like to talk about in person, so how am I supposed to know that he's "the one." I don't know, but he seems to think that we are made for each other. I met another guy a couple of weeks ago. He's fun and funny, but to sum him up in one work: Thug. We hung out for about a week and he was so unstable. Then we started having sex, Why? I don't know. but we did and it was absolutely horrible. He didn't get any hints. I had to practically put his hand where I needed him to touch me. He called me yesterday to tell me that he needs to leave town for a while. Okay....Then he went on to tell me that someone is looking for him. So I told him that he needs to do what he needs to do. Then he started going off on me telling me that I was mean and that he needed me in his life, but I didn't care about him. WHAT? Where did that stuff come from. I don't know. It was crazy. So, he's water off my back. Then there's Mr. Chicago. I've never met him in person either, we've just been chatting. He wants to meet me this weekend. I'm not interested anymore. I want Naperville.