30 Something

I want sugar. I've fasted for 21 days eating no refined sugar products. Now because I ate a snickers and airhead I want sugar. Ugh.

There was a situation that happened at school where a teacher was accusing two of my students of doing something really bad. I was disturbed by this accusation and immediately I began thinking that the teacher was lying. I told the students about this accusation and they dismissed it and were upset about the accusation. I was upset. I called the counselor involved, but she was unavailable. I emailed her and told her to call me. She got back to me around 4:30 today. She was upset about the accusations. At that point I didn't know what to believe. I went to prayer and prayed that God reveal to me what happened. When I got home from prayer I prayed some more and I got my Bible to read because I needed to hear from God, so I read Daniel 2 about how King Nebachanezzer had a dream and he didn't remember what it was, so he called for all of the wise men to tell him his dream. The wise men couldn't tell the king his dream so the king decided to kill all the wise men. Daniel was considered a wise man so he was going to be killed but he pleaded for time and told his friends to pray and God revealed the dream to him. He went to tell the king the dream and the king promoted him.

So my prayer is the God reveal who is telling the truth. I don't have time to wonder and worry if I'm handling the situation well. I need to know that I hear God. Daniel was sure that he heard God and he was confident when he went to tell the king. I need to be confident when I deal with this situation.

Labels: confidence, God, secret things

Ok, I'm a week too late, but this year valentines just kind of came and went. There was nothing special. Well, at school on last Friday morning two of the security guys came to tell me that they met a guy at McDonalds that was interested in me. What, huh? I think they are making up the story because someone at school is interested in me. So, on Monday I'm going to get some information about the McDonalds guy.

Price called me.

Rewind---

On last Thursday I lost my phone. I think I got out the car and dropped it somewhere. So I had to drive to Champaign to take a student to pick up a bus ticket to go on a college visit. On the way there I got lost and decided that I needed to make a u-turn on the highway in the "no unauthorized vehicle" turn. Well, I over turned and got stuck in the mud. Yeah, I received at $75 ticket and had to pay $75 to the tow truck. So I bought a new phone. I hated it because I didn't have anyone's phone number. Then on Monday, I took students to SIUC to visit and stopped at Burger King and ended up leaving my phone in the bathroom. Grrr. I had to buy another new phone. So people have been calling me and leaving text messages and I don't know who they are.

So Price called me and I answered because I didn't know it was him. The conversation was so blah. I wanted to hang up, but I think he got the message.

Labels: Lovers

I've been working so much that I'm extremely exhausted. I have this part-time, on-call job that I'm working on the weekends to pay for my class. I need to work 4 more days to have it paid for, but I'm looking to start two classes in March so that means I need to work 14 more days to pay for it. So, between that and working my fulltime job 16 hours some days, I'm exhausted. I had dark circle around my eyes so bad it was like I'd been beat up. I took today to stay in the bed, but it seems like I can't get back to sleep. I got home around 7 and went to sleep around 8 and got up around 4pm. I still need more sleep, but my mind won't let me. I have work to do. Ugh.

In other news, we had a wonderful talent show on yesterday, even though we didn't make any money. Big Will, the show producer was too ambitious thinking we were going to make about $4000. We made $0. As a matter of fact we lost money because I paid to get tickets printed and for the concession stand food. Oh, well, It was still a good show. The Fly Boyz came and danced. It was a success.

I've got homework, ugh--a lot of reading to do. I'm not too excited. I've also got to apply for school by March 15. I need to get going on that because I need at least 2 letters of reference. I'm not sure who I can ask. I'm also interested in applying for a new job for next year. Hopefully, I'll get it. It will be more money, so I wouldn't need to work more jobs.

I was so upset by the recent events at my job that I didn't care. I slacked and slacked and decided that all my hard work was not worth it. But I needed to have a talk with my boss and it was refreshing. So at church on Sunday I asked God to forgive me for going backwards instead of forwards. My pastor's wife had explained that it was David's destiny to kill Goliath. He didn't simply kill take his slingshot and kill him with no practice or out of pure luck. He had been trained while he was tending his father's sheep and a bear came to try to get the sheep. He protected the sheep. Also when the lion came to he was able to kill the lion. So when he was going to give his brothers food he heard the giant Goliath terrorizing the people and David knew that he could defend the people of Isreal. So David told King Saul that the same God who delivered him from the lion and the bear can deliver him from the uncircumsized Philistine. So Saul sent David and when David killed Goliath he didn't just use the slingshot, but after he fell David took the sword and cut Goliath's head off. My Pastor's wife explained that the head represents the authority and in cutting the head off David was taking back the authority that God had given the Isrealites.

David didn't just go to kill Goliath, he was trained beforehand while he was tending his father's sheep and by being trained David was confident in what he was doing. He had faith in God to know that if he delivered him from that, he could deliver him from this and that is exactly what God did.

After the prayer one of the Deaconesses came to me to pray for me and she told me that I needed to be confident and know that God brought me this far and I didn't have a mother or a father to be there for me, but that God was to be my mother and my father and that I made it this far so not to look for one because God would be my mother and my father. She told me to be confident. I thanked her for speaking the words of encouragment to me in my time of need.