My So Called...
... boyfriend.
Well, we've been seeing each other since Feb 2003. I've broken up with him about 3 times. He's pretty frustrated with me and has every right to be. I wouldn't trust me either. The problem is, I want my cake and eat it too. I don't want to marry him because I really don't believe that we would get along, but I do want to live together because I'm tired of living out of two spaces. I spend the night and cook at his place on the weekends. I used to have a key and a drawer to his place and I can come and go as I please, but because I've tried to erase a tape that we made together he doesn't trust me. But I had every right to erase the tape because he wouldn't give it to me. I figured if we weren't going to be together, then I wanted to destroy all of the evidence that we were together. I wanted to totally erase our existence together. Why hold on to that stuff. He already took my pictures down and tore them up, why keep the video. I don't want some other woman getting involved with him and finding the tape of us, like I've found a tape of him and some other chic. That is disgusting. I don't want his cousins or his son perusing his collection and finding it. I would be way too embarrassed. Also, I don't want to get to a point in my life and the tape resurface. So, I was sneaking and destroying the tape, but I didn't do it fast enough. I should have just taken it and destroyed it. Instead of just taping over it.
So, he hasn't forgiven me for that and for breaking up with him, so that's why we can't live together. He thinks that I may turn on him and move out or something, which is possible so like I said before he has every right to not want to live with me, but I do want my cake and eat it too.
Well, we've been seeing each other since Feb 2003. I've broken up with him about 3 times. He's pretty frustrated with me and has every right to be. I wouldn't trust me either. The problem is, I want my cake and eat it too. I don't want to marry him because I really don't believe that we would get along, but I do want to live together because I'm tired of living out of two spaces. I spend the night and cook at his place on the weekends. I used to have a key and a drawer to his place and I can come and go as I please, but because I've tried to erase a tape that we made together he doesn't trust me. But I had every right to erase the tape because he wouldn't give it to me. I figured if we weren't going to be together, then I wanted to destroy all of the evidence that we were together. I wanted to totally erase our existence together. Why hold on to that stuff. He already took my pictures down and tore them up, why keep the video. I don't want some other woman getting involved with him and finding the tape of us, like I've found a tape of him and some other chic. That is disgusting. I don't want his cousins or his son perusing his collection and finding it. I would be way too embarrassed. Also, I don't want to get to a point in my life and the tape resurface. So, I was sneaking and destroying the tape, but I didn't do it fast enough. I should have just taken it and destroyed it. Instead of just taping over it.
So, he hasn't forgiven me for that and for breaking up with him, so that's why we can't live together. He thinks that I may turn on him and move out or something, which is possible so like I said before he has every right to not want to live with me, but I do want my cake and eat it too.
This entry was posted
on Monday, May 23, 2005 at 12:47 PM.
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