Ho hum
I've had a fairly decent day today. My biggest problem is getting my second hour class to shut up. They are quite chatty. It's true what they say, "give'em an inch and they'll take a mile." At first I thought it was just me, but my mentor even told me that today when there was about 10 minutes left in class he decided to allow his students to have open gym. Instead of playing nicely, they went crazy and he's been here for 16 years. So I've been puzzled. I wanna know how successful inner city schools do it because it's not being done here. I want to work for a well oiled machine and I can't think of one place that I worked that had everything together and it ran smoothly, but I see it all the time on the news and in books about companies that are the best of the best. I want to know what that feels like: to be the best of the best. I want to know how it feels to be a complete success. I started reading the book Good to Great and is tells how companies have gotten better instead of staying mediocre. I want to get better, but can I do that in a place that is not great? Also, I've never really had a good mentor before. Technically I have a mentor here because I'm a new teacher, but he doesn't know how to put together a good lesson plan. This is something that he told me, so that dissappointed me. I knew I was hesitant about him being my mentor in the beginning for a reason. He's a P.E. teacher, they dont' do lesson plans. They play games for a living. So, I knew that he wouldn't be much help, but sure enough I went to ask the principal if she had someone in mind and she choose him. I almost grunted, but I smiled and said "OK." I should have went with my instincts and choose someone different, but I didn't. I'm desperate for some really good guidance. The assistant principal would be my ideal mentor, but she's not teaching so she can't play that role.
In relationship news:
Terrance seems like the ideal mate, but he's short. I long for a man that can help motivate me to live my life better and he's that man, but there's just something that is keeping me from wanting him. I don't know what changed, but something did. He didn't used to want to kiss me as much, but now he wants to be all over me. That makes me sick because I'm not that attracted to him. He also told me that he loved him and he wants me to love him, but I'm not there. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but really I can't see this as being love. He doesn't even know me. We've know each other for a couple of months. This isn't love. I don't know I guess it's hard for me to fall in love or something, but I don't understand it. I want to fall in love with Deon. He's my ideal mate, but I think he's in love with someone else, so I won't dare go there. I'm not sure if we can even be friends because when I call him he won't call me back. That burns my britches.
In relationship news:
Terrance seems like the ideal mate, but he's short. I long for a man that can help motivate me to live my life better and he's that man, but there's just something that is keeping me from wanting him. I don't know what changed, but something did. He didn't used to want to kiss me as much, but now he wants to be all over me. That makes me sick because I'm not that attracted to him. He also told me that he loved him and he wants me to love him, but I'm not there. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but really I can't see this as being love. He doesn't even know me. We've know each other for a couple of months. This isn't love. I don't know I guess it's hard for me to fall in love or something, but I don't understand it. I want to fall in love with Deon. He's my ideal mate, but I think he's in love with someone else, so I won't dare go there. I'm not sure if we can even be friends because when I call him he won't call me back. That burns my britches.
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, November 28, 2006 at 4:17 PM.
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