My Dating History Part Four
September 2004: I told him that I wanted to have his baby. It was the weekend and I wanted to go for a drive. We drove all the way to Shelbyville and back. On the way back he was telling me that he wished that he could live out in the country. I told him that I wanted to live in the city and that I hated not being close to civilization. He started to get upset with me. “you better figure out where u want to live because I was making plans for us.” What? What are you talking about? I started to smile from ear to ear. That was the sweetest thing that anyone had ever told me. I didn’t know that he was thinking about me being in his future. When we got back to his house as we were making up I screamed out that I wanted to have his baby. He smiled from ear to ear. I was dealing with my issues with a place to live and still struggling with my faith. I became a little withdrawn, however, I made it up in my mind that I wasn't going to have the discussion with him anymore.
January 2004: I moved into my own place and was very withdrawn from him. At first I didn’t tell him where I moved too. He got tired of my behavior and broke up with me. He was upset with me because his b-day was on a Friday evening and he wanted me to spend the evening with him after I got out of class, but I refused because I had to be in class at 8am the next morning. The was a bad move on my part because his b-day is synonymous with new year's day. It was a big day for him. The only reason that I refused was because he was 40miles away at a conference for school. I didn’t want to stay up super late with him celebrating and get up super early so that I wouldn’t be late for class. That was the last straw for him. He broke up with me. However, I couldn’t just let him go. We continued to see each other despite the fact that he was seeing other women.
March 2004: My period was late. My breasts were achy. Oh, shit, I think I’m pregnant. Sure enough I was. I wasn’t going to tell him. He had a job prospect in a city that was about an hour and a half away. After June he was going to be leaving town. So I was going to be a single mom and that was okay with me. I could do the single mom thing. Then I was thinking about adoption. Maybe I didn’t want to be single mom. Maybe my baby could have a better life with a loving couple. At that time I didn’t think that I could afford a new baby without help. I only made about $22000/yr. I was in grad school. I didn’t want to have to deal with it. So I contacted an agency. The entire time I continued to see Mister with the plans of leaving him.
June 2004: I’m lounging around Mister’s house and we begin to fool around. Afterwards, he asks me, “Are you pregnant?” “Yes,” I say reluctantly. He didn’t know what to say. I told him that I didn’t want to tell him because he was planning on leaving. They offered him the job in Danville. He told everybody—his mom, his sister, his friends. He asked me if I wanted to get married. I told him not because I was pregnant. We were back together.
July 2004: We went to find out the sex of the baby. I told him that I didn’t know how far along I was. I knew, but I just didn’t want him to know that I was 4 mos along and I didn’t tell him. We began to get really close. However, we found out that he didn’t get the job in Danville. He got nervous because now he was having a baby and didn’t have a good job. What were we going to do? I didn’t dare tell him about the adoption. At that time I’d hired a doola because I was going to be alone. He and my boss were the only people in my life that knew. I did tell a few of my students, but that’s only because I at that point I couldn’t hide it too much.
July 26, 2004, sometime in the middle of the night: I was awakened because my bed was wet. Did I pee on myself was my first question. I went to the bathroom and wiped and wiped and kept on wiping. There was clear stuff coming out. I had read the books and looked up all the stuff on the internet. Everything said that if there was a discharge that was bloody or had a color or odor to it, that I should contact my doctor. Neither of this was the case. I put a towel down and went back to bed.
January 2004: I moved into my own place and was very withdrawn from him. At first I didn’t tell him where I moved too. He got tired of my behavior and broke up with me. He was upset with me because his b-day was on a Friday evening and he wanted me to spend the evening with him after I got out of class, but I refused because I had to be in class at 8am the next morning. The was a bad move on my part because his b-day is synonymous with new year's day. It was a big day for him. The only reason that I refused was because he was 40miles away at a conference for school. I didn’t want to stay up super late with him celebrating and get up super early so that I wouldn’t be late for class. That was the last straw for him. He broke up with me. However, I couldn’t just let him go. We continued to see each other despite the fact that he was seeing other women.
March 2004: My period was late. My breasts were achy. Oh, shit, I think I’m pregnant. Sure enough I was. I wasn’t going to tell him. He had a job prospect in a city that was about an hour and a half away. After June he was going to be leaving town. So I was going to be a single mom and that was okay with me. I could do the single mom thing. Then I was thinking about adoption. Maybe I didn’t want to be single mom. Maybe my baby could have a better life with a loving couple. At that time I didn’t think that I could afford a new baby without help. I only made about $22000/yr. I was in grad school. I didn’t want to have to deal with it. So I contacted an agency. The entire time I continued to see Mister with the plans of leaving him.
June 2004: I’m lounging around Mister’s house and we begin to fool around. Afterwards, he asks me, “Are you pregnant?” “Yes,” I say reluctantly. He didn’t know what to say. I told him that I didn’t want to tell him because he was planning on leaving. They offered him the job in Danville. He told everybody—his mom, his sister, his friends. He asked me if I wanted to get married. I told him not because I was pregnant. We were back together.
July 2004: We went to find out the sex of the baby. I told him that I didn’t know how far along I was. I knew, but I just didn’t want him to know that I was 4 mos along and I didn’t tell him. We began to get really close. However, we found out that he didn’t get the job in Danville. He got nervous because now he was having a baby and didn’t have a good job. What were we going to do? I didn’t dare tell him about the adoption. At that time I’d hired a doola because I was going to be alone. He and my boss were the only people in my life that knew. I did tell a few of my students, but that’s only because I at that point I couldn’t hide it too much.
July 26, 2004, sometime in the middle of the night: I was awakened because my bed was wet. Did I pee on myself was my first question. I went to the bathroom and wiped and wiped and kept on wiping. There was clear stuff coming out. I had read the books and looked up all the stuff on the internet. Everything said that if there was a discharge that was bloody or had a color or odor to it, that I should contact my doctor. Neither of this was the case. I put a towel down and went back to bed.
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I love your website. It has a lot of great pictures and is very informative.
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