My Dating History
Fall 2004: After he got settled in, for about a month we barely saw each other. We desperately wanted to be with each other, but I wanted to be true to my religion and he wanted to respect that. It was a hard time for the both of us.
February 2005: We saw each other more and more. I would go to his place after work on Friday and wouldn’t get back to my place until Monday evening after work. I cooked dinner for him every Sunday. We got into a routine. However, he was trying to move on.
May 2005: This lasted up until about May 2005. Then he started to see other women. Actually, he started to see other women before that, but it wasn't until then that it started to affect our relationship. He started to tell me that I couldn't come over on until Saturday, then I couldn't come over until Sunday, then it was every other week, and it progressed from there. It was also during this time that I couldn't come over unannounced. We had a big fight about that one day.
November 2005: In November I went on vacation and came back and realized that I hadn't seen him in a month. I got really nervous because he was slipping away. He was being consumed by other women who meant more to him that me. At this time I decided that instead of being depressed I was going to find me a new man. I started to meet new guys and go out with them, but everything was so superficial. I couldn't get close. It took me forever to kiss another guy.
December 2005: It wasn't until December that I actually slept with someone new. I really didn't want to, but at the time it was with a guy that I thought could take Mister's place. It turned out that he couldn't because there was still no room for him. I broke up with my replacement and went on to meet new guys. All of them never quite measuring up. Every guy I dated I comparied to Mister. He consumed my thoughts, so I decided that I needed to live so I got busy. I worked a part time job and volunteered. I wanted to get him out of my system. However, every once in a while we'd get together. I tried and tried to keep the emotional out of it. I even told myself that I didn't love him at all, that I was using him. Yeah, right.
Today: It's now May 2006 and we still see each other every once in a while. I haven't moved on. Now that I'm reading this it seems pretty pathetic. Since Mister, I've slept with five guys, Mr. Internet (I thought that he would replace Mister), Frat boy, spur of the moment, New Year's thing. Will never ever happen again even though we've seen each other since. I thought Mr. Married would be a really good substitute. He was perfect. However, he had one flaw. He was a big liar. How can you not tell someone that you are married? Then there was my mindless fling. Bad Sex Guy was a huge mistake. That was a two week stint that I really don't want to remember. And he had the audacity to call me stuck up. Whatever!! Then there is Al. I fantasized about Al being my replacement, but unfortunately he has some serious issues that I'm not interested in dealing with. Okay, I know I said five, but actually my new fling has been incredible....the fling part, not the getting to know each other part because we haven't gotten to know each other at all. Now I didn't include Mr. B because technically we haven't gone all the way...yet. I really don't want to because it won't go anywhere with Mr. B. so why waste my time?
I did meet a really interesting guy who was digging me. He's an older guy. I didn't hear his name when he told me so I just labelled him whiteboy in my cell phone. He's really into me, but i'm not sure how that's going to go. 1. I'm not attracted to him. 2. He has some serious trust issues that I'm not sure that I want to deal with. 3. I'm not really attracted to him. Not really, but we do have a good time talking and hanging out. He's a little too touchy also. He does kiss well, but seeing that I don't want it to go further than a kiss I try not to do it much. I don't want to give him any ideas.
February 2005: We saw each other more and more. I would go to his place after work on Friday and wouldn’t get back to my place until Monday evening after work. I cooked dinner for him every Sunday. We got into a routine. However, he was trying to move on.
May 2005: This lasted up until about May 2005. Then he started to see other women. Actually, he started to see other women before that, but it wasn't until then that it started to affect our relationship. He started to tell me that I couldn't come over on until Saturday, then I couldn't come over until Sunday, then it was every other week, and it progressed from there. It was also during this time that I couldn't come over unannounced. We had a big fight about that one day.
November 2005: In November I went on vacation and came back and realized that I hadn't seen him in a month. I got really nervous because he was slipping away. He was being consumed by other women who meant more to him that me. At this time I decided that instead of being depressed I was going to find me a new man. I started to meet new guys and go out with them, but everything was so superficial. I couldn't get close. It took me forever to kiss another guy.
December 2005: It wasn't until December that I actually slept with someone new. I really didn't want to, but at the time it was with a guy that I thought could take Mister's place. It turned out that he couldn't because there was still no room for him. I broke up with my replacement and went on to meet new guys. All of them never quite measuring up. Every guy I dated I comparied to Mister. He consumed my thoughts, so I decided that I needed to live so I got busy. I worked a part time job and volunteered. I wanted to get him out of my system. However, every once in a while we'd get together. I tried and tried to keep the emotional out of it. I even told myself that I didn't love him at all, that I was using him. Yeah, right.
Today: It's now May 2006 and we still see each other every once in a while. I haven't moved on. Now that I'm reading this it seems pretty pathetic. Since Mister, I've slept with five guys, Mr. Internet (I thought that he would replace Mister), Frat boy, spur of the moment, New Year's thing. Will never ever happen again even though we've seen each other since. I thought Mr. Married would be a really good substitute. He was perfect. However, he had one flaw. He was a big liar. How can you not tell someone that you are married? Then there was my mindless fling. Bad Sex Guy was a huge mistake. That was a two week stint that I really don't want to remember. And he had the audacity to call me stuck up. Whatever!! Then there is Al. I fantasized about Al being my replacement, but unfortunately he has some serious issues that I'm not interested in dealing with. Okay, I know I said five, but actually my new fling has been incredible....the fling part, not the getting to know each other part because we haven't gotten to know each other at all. Now I didn't include Mr. B because technically we haven't gone all the way...yet. I really don't want to because it won't go anywhere with Mr. B. so why waste my time?
I did meet a really interesting guy who was digging me. He's an older guy. I didn't hear his name when he told me so I just labelled him whiteboy in my cell phone. He's really into me, but i'm not sure how that's going to go. 1. I'm not attracted to him. 2. He has some serious trust issues that I'm not sure that I want to deal with. 3. I'm not really attracted to him. Not really, but we do have a good time talking and hanging out. He's a little too touchy also. He does kiss well, but seeing that I don't want it to go further than a kiss I try not to do it much. I don't want to give him any ideas.
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on Wednesday, May 31, 2006 at 3:09 PM.
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